My Journey From Head to Heart
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Best Goodbye Ever...

Experienced an absolute Gem of a movie ‘Dasvidaniya - Best Goodbye Ever’. Extremely versatile and brilliant Vinay Pathak as usual is natural and Ranvir Shourey in a cameo is as always great. Music, supporting cast, dialogues, expressions everything are just top notch. It left me gasping for breath - laughter and lump in the throat, both. A must watch treat!!!

And it made me question what if you find out that your name is on somebody’s ‘Things to do Before You Die List‘? What if you drifted apart from that friend and it’s too late to make up? What if you are meeting a friend and you know this is the last time you will ever see her? Would I still live or be the way the I am now? Which false part of me will fall away?

is making me realize again and again that the best way to lead a happy, successful, joyous life is to have as less expectations as possible. Live in the moment. Source of most disappointments, anger, petty fights is expectations. One expects something, consciously or otherwise, and that does not transpire, emotions & sensations come up. Emotions of ego, jealousy, resentment and what not well up. And then one oscillates between blaming oneself or the other person over the non-event.

For e.g.: you called your friend and wanted to speak urgently about something important. You already are restless and your friend does not pick the phone up. What happens? You start imagining things. Why did she did not pick up? Doesn't she know you are calling for something important? She thinks no end of herself? She doesn't have a clue, and you start blaming her for nothing. And you blame yourself then. When all that happened was that you had expectations of your own.

Or while volunteering you start imagining that someone will do something and he does not or you were certain that this person would definitely come for the course and you go all huff-and-puff in your mind. Unconditional Love, gone with the wind.

Doesn’t mean one stops expecting at all. That itself is an expectation. But be aware of what it effects inside you. Dream without doer ship. Give your 100% to the action not to the thought of results.

The more I see around more I believe that we touch more lives, directly or indirectly, than we’ll ever know. And that makes me ask myself, will I value what I have now or still keep languishing about things I aspire for? When will I realize that I am richer with what I have, by whoever I am or whoever is in my life. When will I believe that no matter what, I am blessed.

Whatever did not happen for you, yet, it’s because right now in your life something else holds more value, is more important, than THIS girl or guy, than THIS job etc. You may or may not be ready for that, may or may not have worked hard and dreamed hard for that BUT there are even better things in store for you. Something that you can’t/won’t see now. Insight is the foresight that you realize only in hindsight. In due course you’ll see that everything happens for a reason and the reason is always good…

Oh and yeah, Dostana is good fun time pass. Special mention - Abhishek & John’s kiss!!! That’s the way, to be Happy and Gay...Maahi ve!!!

Pay it Forward!

Saw this AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL new song yesterday - Saawarey. It'a Sufi song sung in the velvety voice of Roop kumar Rathod. He is another underrated singer in our industry. Song is very soulful & the expressions priceless. And the feel of the video is like a cloudy day, early morning, on your terrace overlooking the city, cool just transported me to some other place. Very peaceful.Truly spiritual and poetic...

The expressions of the actors in this video are genuine and it got me thinking that I have become incapable of expressing my emotions with such honesty now, after what happened or what did not happen with her. Their have been many times when I wanted to say something nice, do something good for someone, but didn't.

Like saying a kind word to that old lady I met in the bus that day or dancing with that kid in the orphanage before Diwali or helping that girl in Landmark to decide the upon the DVD she was confused about or sharing a moment of lightness with that couple in the train that night or making a friend smile during the course etc...

I become anxious imagining how will that person react. Worse, if they say thank you and that look in their eyes that you are a wonderful, nice, kind, intelligent person. Somehow I have come to be uncomfortable about anyone thinking of me as a wonderful person. It's weird, because know I am a wonderful person. Not perfect in any way, but I at least have got a good heart which can't hurt or see anyone hurt. But somehow if someone responds nicely, to any thing nice that I do, something shakes inside...don't know what. Ego? may be..Shy? sure..Expectations from them that I'll am or always be this wonderful? Yes...They becoming my 'Friend'? Yes.

I have become very self-conscious with the thought of a relationship, any kind. It always ends. it always makes one sad. It always leaves a void. It always leads one away from oneself. I want to do good, but without being recognized for it. I am more of a background man then in the limelight kind of guy. You can shout at me if I do good to you. I would be fine with that, because in my heart I'd know i did the right thing and I'd be content. But if u praise me, if you admire me to my face, I'll shrink...

I saw this really amazing movie long time back starring Halley Joel Osment (the awesome kid of Sixth Sense) & Kevin Spacey - 'Pay it Forward', the story was about a kid who chooses an assignment in his class - to save the world. Project named - Pay it forward, which means that if someone does something nice for you, something big, you don't pay it back, you pay it forward to 3 more people. And those 3 people, in turn, pay it forward to 3 more people... And doing that, overtime, it will become a chain all over the world, connecting every person. So, if you like what I do, pay it forward..not just backwards.

That idea-turned novel-turned movie has become a huge movement around the world, changing the world by one act of random kindness at a time. Do watch the's beautiful! Three imperfect people - 1 perfect idea!

And that's how, I think, Yes!+ works better. Anyone who experiences it pays it forward, manyfolds. Innocent, plain & simple dream.

So, I guess if I feel pink when I think of doing something nice for someone, I'll think of it as paying it forward. Yeah, that's it!
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