Pay it Forward! Posted by In Search Of Myself , Saturday, November 8, 2008 at 9:04 PM, in

Saw this AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL new song yesterday - Saawarey. It'a Sufi song sung in the velvety voice of Roop kumar Rathod. He is another underrated singer in our industry. Song is very soulful & the expressions priceless. And the feel of the video is like a cloudy day, early morning, on your terrace overlooking the city, cool breeze...it just transported me to some other place. Very peaceful.Truly spiritual and poetic...

The expressions of the actors in this video are genuine and it got me thinking that I have become incapable of expressing my emotions with such honesty now, after what happened or what did not happen with her. Their have been many times when I wanted to say something nice, do something good for someone, but didn't.

Like saying a kind word to that old lady I met in the bus that day or dancing with that kid in the orphanage before Diwali or helping that girl in Landmark to decide the upon the DVD she was confused about or sharing a moment of lightness with that couple in the train that night or making a friend smile during the course etc...

I become anxious imagining how will that person react. Worse, if they say thank you and that look in their eyes that you are a wonderful, nice, kind, intelligent person. Somehow I have come to be uncomfortable about anyone thinking of me as a wonderful person. It's weird, because know I am a wonderful person. Not perfect in any way, but I at least have got a good heart which can't hurt or see anyone hurt. But somehow if someone responds nicely, to any thing nice that I do, something shakes inside...don't know what. Ego? may be..Shy? sure..Expectations from them that I'll am or always be this wonderful? Yes...They becoming my 'Friend'? Yes.

I have become very self-conscious with the thought of a relationship, any kind. It always ends. it always makes one sad. It always leaves a void. It always leads one away from oneself. I want to do good, but without being recognized for it. I am more of a background man then in the limelight kind of guy. You can shout at me if I do good to you. I would be fine with that, because in my heart I'd know i did the right thing and I'd be content. But if u praise me, if you admire me to my face, I'll shrink...

I saw this really amazing movie long time back starring Halley Joel Osment (the awesome kid of Sixth Sense) & Kevin Spacey - 'Pay it Forward', the story was about a kid who chooses an assignment in his class - to save the world. Project named - Pay it forward, which means that if someone does something nice for you, something big, you don't pay it back, you pay it forward to 3 more people. And those 3 people, in turn, pay it forward to 3 more people... And doing that, overtime, it will become a chain all over the world, connecting every person. So, if you like what I do, pay it forward..not just backwards.

That idea-turned novel-turned movie has become a huge movement around the world, changing the world by one act of random kindness at a time. Do watch the movie..it's beautiful! Three imperfect people - 1 perfect idea!

And that's how, I think, Yes!+ works better. Anyone who experiences it pays it forward, manyfolds. Innocent, plain & simple dream.

So, I guess if I feel pink when I think of doing something nice for someone, I'll think of it as paying it forward. Yeah, that's it!